It's the Sex, Stupid

My favorite quotes of the month come from two women and here's the good news - women are totally wildly different from one another.

A new book about uberDiva Bette Davis is featured in the March Vanity Fair and describes in some detail Davis’ sex life and her failure in personal affairs. For her "there's nothing lonelier than a turned down toilet seat". Well girls, that is what separates the lesbians from the rest of you. A toilet seat propped up creates  instant panic in the eye of the lesbian walking in on it (unless of course, it's just your own 6 year old who forgot, in his haste to get back to the Wallace and Gromit DVD). I don't have a 6 year old - but remembering the hostility heaped on lesbians who had the gall to have boy children in the rad fem days, I for one, am glad those days are gone...

On the other clenched fist, there's recently anointed - by the BBC -leader of the feminist movement, Sheila Jeffreys, whose interview with the Guardian newspaper gave us this gem: "Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men. It does not mean compulsory sexual activity with women."

WHHHAAATTT? No compulsory sexual activity with WOMEN? Whoa!
Is it only those lucky non-political lesbians who get to have all the fun? Does the poor 'woman-identified woman' get no sexual kicks other than those administered by her own hand and her trusty vibrator? I've got news for Sheila too. If the question is " What makes lesbians different from straight or bisexual women?" the answer is "It's the SEX stupid". If there were no sex, we'd just be friends, which is what most lesbians end up being anyway. Unless of course they have well and truly screwed with the psyches of their lovers and had to leave town, change their hair colour or their name.

Most women I know who are married to or involved with men describe it as 'easier' than being with a woman and their menfolk as 'simple'. So, let me be blunt here. If being a lesbian isn't about the sex, what d'yall think it's about? Because I'm not willing for it be so damn complex, heartbreaking and angst ridden if there isn't good sex to compensate.