So, I was listening to the radio in the car, which is a little tough because we are not talking some sophisticated system here. This is the Toyota factory installed deal that most people would have thrown out for a 500 CD changer and 8 subwoofers a long time ago. But between my iPod and my sweet JBL Creature speakers hooked up to my computer, I do OK. It's just in the car that I have to suffer 80's technology. It's alright - it's a dog car anyway.
But I'm listening to this amazing program about 'voting under the influence', and I'm getting really excited that the authorities are finally taking this issue seriously. I mean, how many times have you seen people at the polling station holding those little cue cards that tell them how to vote on every candidate and proposition. They pretend to be endorsements from your fave environmental group or local democratic club, but anyone can buy a slot on these cards.
And how many times have you seen women in the voting booth asking their 'better informed' men pals how to vote. Better informed meaning he has seen every single one of Arnold's movies and therefore feels qualified to advise on taxes, candidates and constitutional amendments.
And how many times have you noticed the slight sway of a Republican in the booth as they vote under the influence of George Bush.
VUI - voting under the influence. An amazing thing. And I'm just thrilled that there were over 200 arrests last year in Northern California for just such an offense. And I'm stopped at a traffic light, and I'm thinking 'Really? How come I never knew about this? Half the voters, no - two thirds of the voters who voted for Governor One Term(inator) should have been arrested'.
So I lean forward and turn up the sound just as the commentator is saying that the offense carries the same penalties as a DUI while operating a car....what????? And then he winds down his piece and says so if you're heading out onto the Bay today, remember - "don't drink".
Voting under the influence. It is a bloody fantastic idea. Too bad he was only talking about boating.
Back when you had to be 21 to vote, I voted for the 1st time. '68. You were probably a mere tad of a youth.
Anyway, my buddy and I decided to go to St. James Alley in Palo Alto and get shit faced. Then I would go vote for Humphrey. Even though I knew Nixon would be the next Pres. At 7:30 we rush out so I can get to the polling place on time. Obviously, there were no laws agin voting while Pie Eyed. I must have smelled like a Coors Brewery. That was the best beer you could get at the time. Pickins was slim, then.
I was the last guy in the place before they closed up. They probably wanted to go home right away, so they didn't say anything.
Next morning, I woke up with a hangover and Richard Nixon. It was time for some hair of the dog.
H. R. Bob Haldeman
Posted by: barry nichols | September 08, 2006 at 04:06 PM