civil unions for all. marriage for the few. works for me.

Maybe it's a g g g generational thing, maybe it's that the shackle of marriage has been (and still is) used to oppress women since it's inception, maybe it's that I have just enough personal experience of the bitterness and hatred engendered by divorces and separations, perhaps it's just that I am bewildered that lesbians are now fighting over custody of the cats and dogs. Basically, I am mad as hell that the stupid reactionary idiots in the Mormon church and other right wing pervs have made this into a battle we have to sign up to fight, goddamn.

LGBT civil rights are no small matter to be resolved sometime in the future, I agree with that, of course I freakin' do. Equal protection under the law is and should be even more American than apple pie, no argument there. But equal simply doesn't mean the 'same', and wouldn't it be a great thing if something called the equal rights amendment had actually ensured womens full protections and advancement in our society, huh?

Marriage is a tool of religious control of women - and if it was so sacrosanct wouldn't divorce have been banned? If (heterosexual) marriage is the vehicle for procreation and the success of the human species was so freakin' sacred how come so many of these superior beings are dumping their children under new laws which absolve them from their responsibilities?

The real separation of church and state would be if we no longer assigned any rights or responsibilities or state issued benefits to couples 'married' under some sort of religious oversight. Civil unions would be required to obtain the benefits, and if you also want to have your partnership sanctified in a place of your particular worship - good on ya. Go for it.

Whatever the GLBT 'movement' is right now, it appears to have an absence of leadership in much the same way we were led from behind Bill Clinton over 'Dont Ask Dont Tell'. If the idea of lesbians and gay men in uniform dying for their country hadn't caused the Pentagon and their right wing allies to get their jockstraps in a twist, the rest of us wouldn't have had to put our armor on and fall in line behind a policy that most of knew was misguided.

Same with 'marriage'. Civil Unions for All. Leave marriage for the few.

Comments

[Deb in Minnesota]

Civil unions for all works for me too. My alternative modest proposal is a constitutional ban on divorces for heterosexuals.

[trinity2]

The problem I have with civil unions taking the place of marriage is that in order to do these things gay couples still have to go to an attorney, have the paperwork drawn up and actually show those in powers in order to get the benefits that heterosexual couples AUTOMATICALLY get when married. No one asks the wife of a husband whether or not they should get access into a hospital room. A gay couple actually has to SHOW PAPERWORK to get the same rights.
However, when given a choice of domestic partnership or nothing I take the former! But, it shouldn't have to be a choice. It should be a god given right.

[lhahn]

The cultural implications of erasing the civil institution are pretty complex--so much is tied up with the word "marriage" in the US. I really enjoyed reading When Gay People Get Married by MV Lee Badgett (somewhat scholarly, but not too odiously so) which provided insight into what more evolved European countries believe about the institution and their solutions.