goose on the loose

Okay, I know I am a freakin' weirdo. I have been trying to get to the carpet warehouse in Richmond for days and every day there seems to be some distraction, somebody's car breaks down and they need a ride, or some work project just has to be done. What is up with that? So today, on one of the hottest days of the year and having wiped out on my dogwalk this morning I thought that a mellow trip to the carpet place would be a good idea and asked Aida to come along as she was similarly derailed by the heat (and last night's margarita I guess).

But, here's the thing. Richmond is a twisted maze of triangles and dead-ends at freeways and train tracks that look like you'd better not cross to the other side. I know, I know - lots of great people live in Richmond and it has a vibrant history linked to the amazing docks and industrial heartbeat it once was, there on the flipside of San Francisco Bay. Richmond is the story of Rosie the Riveter and proud union ship building, and there is still a hulking marina and boat building business, container ships rest here, and boat wrecks nudge through the still waters of the bay around Richmond Bridge.

But don't get lost in Richmond. 

We got lost looking for the carpet warehouse. And as we crept through the streets, criss-crossing Cutting, Carlson, MacDonald and Harbor we both felt a little unease as we turned onto a street where a crowd of people were standing around a chain link fence behind which a bunch of gnarly pitbulls and chows were chained, lunging at the fencing and - staggering like a drunk sailor on the tarmac, drooling - was a Canadian Goose. Now, I'm not crazy about geese. They make a bloody mess and there are a whole load of them. But ya know what? It is a beating heart. And that's good enough for me. I jumped out of the car, trailing a huge blanket I carry around with me for some reason and looked back at Aida, still seated comfortably, who asked ' did you want my help?'

Moments later I flung the blanket over the large bird and I barked instructions to Aida to get in there and get it wrapped up. Have you ever been bitten by a goose? Yup, once is enough. Aida, if anything is more impulsive than I am, and flung herself on the ground wrestling a 20 pound bird. I called animal control and asked, over their laughter, what to do with our new bird.

A few minutes later we were releasing our irritable passenger into a lake by the Bay, watched incredulously by about 40 geese who stared at us as if we were insane.

I tell you what - as the goose waded into the cooling water and sipped and nestled himself into the pond and swam off, I felt pretty good about our adventure.

We set off in search of the carpet warehouse.

As we looked at the miles of floor coverings, one of the guys who works there asked, because he recognized my accent from my earlier pleading phone call asking for directions, 'what took you so long to get here?'. I recounted our goose tale and watched his face go a little pale. 'You stole someone's guard goose?' 'Guard Goose?' And then I got a little cultural education. Apparently instead of pitbulls, our local drug and gun dealers are utilising these feathered watchbirds to squawk like crazy when the SWAT teams descend. I guess these supercriminals save big on the dog food.

Ah, well. My feathered friend, now liberated from his life of crime, is sitting on a pond by the bay...

Comments

[themacinator]

shit, i believe it. i am scared of those things. my pit bull is scared of them, and he will hunt mostly anything. i have seen people have guard emus before, but never a guard goose.... (by the way, i've renamed these guys california geese, because i don't believe they ever migrate....)

[JP]

They are scary! And I think that's right about them never migrating. They are here to stay. We just felt lousy about this goose getting cooked on a hot day on the streets...

[Deb in Minnesota]

Guard goose?! I'm going to look differently at the geese on campus now. I stopped my vehicle to allow a few of them to cross the road in front of me the other day. They weren't hurrying. I didn't mind because I needed to be reminded to slow down.