zhu zhu hamsters dodge a bullet

Me and my hamster Fred, 1966. Note the CND button - that's Campaign For Nuclear Disarmament for those of you who think that is just a freakin' peace sign.

Wow, was I happy to be listening to the radio yesterday as the 23 year old head honcho of Zhu Zhu pets explained that their furry, lovable, funny, and talkative little 'pets' were vindicated after a rough week in the media. In spite of being made in China they didn't contain massive amounts of toxic contaminants after all, and were safe to give your under-informed (that's me being polite) children who would probably tire of a real hamster as soon as they got nipped or found those little brown ropes of poops in their bed. After all, as ZhuZhuPets website states: "Zhu Zhu Pets™ hamsters don’t poop, die, or stink"  Yeah, can't have the family pet dying. Or smelling. She did warn however that if you wanna snag one of these 'hot' toys you'd better be prepared to be at your favorite China outlet way ahead of the doors opening because these little faux pets are flying off the shelves. Yippee!!!!

I wasn't sure that I was getting depressed. Now I am. And it isn't just about Zhu Zhu Pets, though that didn't help. The animal shelters are filling up now, as winter sets in, the economy still forcing people to choose between feeding the dog and clothing their children, and small dogs flying out of the shelter doors as adoptions rise but the staff at one shelter saying to me 'most of them will come back after Christmas'.

It isn't even that though. It's Obama and the Peace Prize (bloody hell) it's Obama's lack of commitment to one policy or the other in Afghanistan, it's the virulent hate for Jews expressed on the Letters Page of my local paper, it's the rape and murder of a pregnant woman in a comfortable Los Angeles neighbourhood, it's that with the USPS losing billions of dollars a year, they are closing local post offices (why is the Postal Service losing billions when UPS and Fed Ex seem to be able to make decent money?) and do I want health care insurance reform at this point? No, really, do I? 

It's that I hate this time of year. I love Halloween and I enjoy the weeks till Thanksgiving. And then comes the euphemistic Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving, America looks like the facile, consumer driven, big fat idiot that it tries hard not to look like. And there's no escape. I feel trapped. And the days get shorter and the sky goes grey and I cry a lot, and fear a lot. I still don't seem to have the on/off switch in my brain that I need to stop the wheels from grinding up there the way they do. And now that I am the kinder, gentler Jill this lack of defense makes me feel I need a barricade, not just a few sandbags against the world.

When my family moved to Berlin in the winter of 1961, as the Berlin Wall was beginning it's forced separation of families and cultures and homes and plunged a steel and concrete brace through the heart of a city, my family protected me from the reality - we bought a magnificent tree, so tall the tip folded as it hit the ceiling, we hung large fragile bulbs in exuberant color from the limbs and attached real candles in little metal holders to the branches and the scent of pine was intoxicating, presents tumbled across the floor, the skins of tangerines and the cracked shells of walnuts littered the table, the coal fired central heating roared, as drifts of snow and ice clung to the house. No expense was spared. I was distraught, miserable and lost. But everything looked and felt and tasted so powerfully protective.

I could almost forget that we had left our spaniel Judy, left the puppies and the cats, left the land of wonderment, with the bats at Batu Caves, and the tigers of Fraser Hill and the perpendicular railroad of Penang, and the large sea turtles breeding in the sand on the coast, and the fantasy of a family at peace with itself. We also left behind in Kuala Lumpur the 2 foot high metal Xmas tree that sat on a glass topped table for a while in the sweaty muggy days of a Malayan December.

I really don't like this time of year. I wonder how bio-degradable ZhuZhu pets are because unlike the real thing, they will not return to where they came and feed the soil with their bones and feed the maggots to nurture the earth....

And I really do need to check in with my therapist.

Comments

[Deb in Minnesota]

Yes, check in with your therapist, Jill. And do you have access to a sun lamp? I know of this seasonal depression...

[debra]

I know how you feel. I figure if I just keep plodding along the season will pass and the days will get longer and warmer and then I will feel better. Persevere.

[lhahn]

My kids still "want a puppy." Well, until we brought Barron, the 10 1/2 year old Collie to add to our little pack. He didn't chew shoes and textbooks, but provides massive amounts of cuddles. Shelters are empty here, except for pits and lab mixes. Breed rescues are overextended and out of foster homes due to "foreclosure" dogs and bad owners who wanted puppies but have no further use for the dog who still isn't housebroken or chews out of boredom at being left 14 hours a day. I have to deflect my thoughts having no more room for any more animals and unable to manage thinking of any other suffering of which there is endless amounts. To a better New Year.